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Five ways to deal with anger.

You may know someone who has been angry, witnessed rage, or even experienced it yourself. I certainly have had an upbringing regarding this emotion learned from my father.

This emotion if gone unchecked can become an unintentional trait passed on from one generation to the next.

In an effort to prevent it from being passed on into my legacy, I intend to make a serious effort to manage this emotion.

From a meeting with a group of men hosted by Travis Gray here is what I learned about the five best ways to deal with anger.


This is what we learned:

Source Ephesians Chapter 4 “Living as Children of Light” verses 26-32.

26. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Anger here in the Greek meaning; “to provoke”.

Let us not be provoked to anger which leads us do wrong.

Being provoked to anger  where you choose to act in your own self-interest might serve as an example that I can think up.

Anger is certainly an acceptable emotion, yet like most everything; when used appropriately.

You would also be wise to resolve the matter as soon as possible.

29. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

When we do not know what to do in a situation, cursing or some other poor-mannered behavior, seems like a good way of coping to help US react and communicate in OUR OWN VERSION of perceived strong masculine manner.

When we have a framework for handling anger, it can improve the way we “react” when anger is provoked, because we have a game plan on how to deal with the situation.

It seems too easy to cuss and curse. The more we do it, the more natural it becomes. Why do we cuss? Is it some insecurity thing?

In the moment of anger, building someone up whom has perhaps caused a disaster for us in one way or another can be very difficult.

However, like cussing, the more we do something, the more automatic, natural and consistent our behavior response becomes.

30. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

This plainly means: If you know whatever you are doing is wrong, then not doing it, is fairly obvious.

31. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.

The Greek meaning of anger here is “actionable”. Meaning you are acting out your anger either mentally, physically, or both.

Bitterness, rage, fighting, slander, malice, are all forms of a negative energy loop.

I believe it does more damage to ourselves than to others.

Do these things for a long enough time, and YOU are going to be a miserable person and rather lonely.

32. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.

Christ God forgives us, why cannot we forgive others?

We do not have to forget the matter, yet again, stewing in your own mess and caring around dirty diapers is simply unattractive.

Also, another negative mindset builds from carrying a grudge which mostly wears the grudge holder down.

It takes humility, meekness, and ultimately love to forgive others who have wronged you.

You want to be strong, then try these on for size when angry.

Swinging a sinfully provoked punch, or tearing your opponent down with our words is weak.

Acting in humility, meekness, love and forgiveness these actions are “STRONG”.

When Jesus was getting brutally beaten and nailed to a cross by men he could in an instant have stopped.

Instead, it is written, he still “loved” and “forgave” them even under such circumstances.

h/t Travis Gray


Author: Eric

I have been married to my wife Laura since 1995, and live in Austin, Texas with our two children. I have participated in the sport of triathlon and investing for many years.

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